Straightening Up.

OK people.  First thing’s first.  I’ve been a terrible blogger recently.  I’ve left you hanging for almost 2 months (wha?!) with no explanation, and more importantly no tips for keeping your lives organized.   All hell must have broken out in your households/offices/lives during this time, for sure.  For that I’m sorry.  I could bust into a list telling you all the things keeping me too busy to write recently, but that would probably bore you and cause serious eye-rolls (“she thinks she’s sooo busy…”).  So I won’t do it.  And with that, I’ve just got a straight up post on…straightening up.   So here goes…

Let’s talk about things that are straight.

Jennifer Aniston’s amazing hair:


Straight as an arrow? Cameron Frye, Ferris’ BFF:


And probably John Mayer, considering he’s dated every female celebrity ever (including aforementioned Jen):


Things that aren’t straight?  My bottom teeth.

Yep.  You heard me.  Normally when we talk ‘straightening up’ around here it’s about corralling baby stuff, organizing kitchen cabinets, or neatly packing up Christmas paraphernalia.  This time we’re talking teeth.  In particular, my never-had-or-needed-braces-until-now -teeth.

Excuse me while I hop on my soapbox for a hot minute, but I was blessed with beautiful chompers.  They are naturally white, and straight. Well, the top ones are…(or should I say were?).  The bottoms are a hot mess, but who really sees those?  When I was 15 and went to the obligatory orthodontist appointment that it seems every middle class suburban adolescent gets dragged to, the doc said I had no structural issues with my teeth (read: no over/under bite), just snagglies on the bottom, which meant braces would be purely cosmetic.  So naturally, like every vain 15 year old girl, I said – NO THANKS to a mouth of metal for the next few years.  The actual quote, which The Magi likes to remind me of, was: “Well if God wanted me to have perfect teeth, he would have given me perfect teeth”.  Very profound coming from a non-religious half-Jew-half-Christian.  I was always wise beyond my years.  NOT.

So here I sit, 15+ years later, with very crooked bottom teeth, and top ones that have started to shift.  They still look relatively normal from afar, but I started to notice one central incisor (big front tooth, in laymen’s terms) overlapping the other, a la the bottoms.  And it’s created an awkward space under its neighboring lateral incisor that’s noticeable when I smile.  I’ll post a pic as soon as I can find a good one that I don’t mind putting on the internet.  Teeth are pretty darn personal.  Bottom line is top teeth that look like my bottom teeth would be no bueno.  I have learned that having a baby really does a number to your self-confidence (many, many things just do NOT look the same!), so if I could prevent further “boo me” moments, that would be fantastic.  I don’t want to be talking like a ventriloquist the rest of my life.

So that’s where Invisalign comes in.  Invisible braces for the modern mama.  No I totally made that tag line up, but they really are “invisible” braces.  After years of saying I should do it (to no one in particular and without real meaning), I bit the bullet and went back to an Orthodontist earlier this year.  He confirmed the top teeth are following the pattern of the bottoms, and that I’d be a good candidate for Invisalign.  So a few filled-out forms, hard earned bucks, tooth molds, and X-rays later and we’re in business.

So yes, I got braces at 30 years old.  And I’m gonna blog about it.  I’m currently about 2 months into my treatment with 8 more to go – this is longer than a full term pregnancy people!  I’ve got before pics, weekly pics, and a whole lot of initial thoughts to share with anyone interested.  People seem to love talking about personal stuff on the internet.  I don’t fully get it but I’m not opposed to capitalizing on it.  Stay tuned and feel free to leave me some Invisalign Qs/tips in the comments.  A girl can never have enough Invisalign tricks up her sleeve…


One thought on “Straightening Up.

  1. Pingback: Streaking. | keep it neat

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